The reality of having a brain tumor had set in for several months; my mobility, functionality, and the pain in my head were all worsening. I was told by two doctors that the tumor wasn’t to blame, but something just wasn’t right; we had to be sure. We sought out the Mayo Clinic; they’d know.
As the weeks went by, awaiting my appointments, there seemed to be more questions than answers…and I continued to be immobile, accompanied by pain like I’d never felt. I had a lot of time to be alone with my thoughts, but more and more of that time was spent seeking God. At times, I was petitioning Him for an earlier appointment date at Mayo (which He answered in His beautiful, “I Can Do All Things” way). Other times, I just sat in the quiet, waiting to hear what He wanted to say to me, do through me, or just listened to His singing His peace over me. I’d cry out to Him, as the pain increased, and thank Him for the sweet servant hearts, displayed by my hubby, kiddos, parents, and friends, who all cared for me so selflessly (and in the case of my hubby, kiddos, and mom, “tirelessly” is also an appropriate word). God was still so good…always!
During this time, the LORD showed me something within very familiar verses.
“But David said to Saul, ‘Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.’…”1 Samuel 17:34-37a NIV
“He took his staff in his hand and chose for himself five smooth stones from the brook and put them in the pouch in his shepherd’s bag. He approached the Philistine with his sling in his hand.”1 Samuel 17:40 ISV
The LORD showed me that David didn’t run from his “giants;” he ran toward them!! He knew God’s presence and power were enough for him. He’d seen Him do great things before and trusted Him to be able to do them, again! Because of this, he didn’t shy away from trouble; he ran toward it!
In all of these situations, David had a purpose: 1) to kill the lion and bear, who were taking sheep from the flock, and rescue the sheep and 2) to kill the Philistine and rescue the people of Israel…He was to attack the enemy, be used by God to rescue the ones needing rescuing, all while proclaiming the LORD as being the One Who delivered him!
“And David says, ‘YHWH, Who delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, He delivers me from the hand of this Philistine.’ And Saul says to David, ‘Go, and YHWH is with you.’”1 Samuel 17:37 ISV
“David told the Philistine, ‘You come to me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of Armies, the God of the army of Israel, Whom you have insulted. Today the LORD will hand you over to me. I will strike you down and cut off your head. And this day, I will give the dead bodies of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals. The whole world will know that Israel has a God. Then everyone gathered here will know that the LORD can save without sword or spear, because the LORD determines every battle’s outcome. He will hand all of you over to us.”1 Samuel 17:45-47 GWT
Check out how many times, in Verses 45-47, David talks about the LORD!!! When you read these verses, do you sense fear? David’s standing in front of the champion of the Philistines (1 Samuel 17:4), who’s just been hurling insults at him (Verses 43-44)! The enemy is 9 FEET 9 INCHES tall and stellar strong!!! Yet, in these verses, I don’t see any indication that David is afraid. What I see is faith, trust, confidence, and boldness, because of the LORD God, Whom he serves!
I loved this when the LORD showed this to me…and still do! It resonates within me! My tumor, my health, and my inability to do things I used to didn’t feel so big. I felt (and still feel) His presence so strongly that I knew whatever I met on this unknown path could be destroyed, if He wanted it to be…or He would use it to shout His name!! “The LORD determines every battle’s outcome!” Although the tumor has grown, my activity level isn’t (and may never be) normal, I deal with a number of medical disorders, and the enemy continues to try to overtake me, I am confident in the LORD and His purpose for me. I’m pursuing His purpose…and Him!
I hope you clearly hear, in all I say throughout this blog, my shouting the name of the LORD as my battle cry and pointing you to Him–He is my strength and sustainer, in Whom my hope, peace, and victory are found!
May those needing rescuing be “rescued” by the Truth of His Word through these works of His hands, as He speaks to my soul and continues to move my fingers, typing each “day” of the study of His Word as well as each blog post! Amen.