Practical Parenting Tips for Discipling Kiddos–Part 3

Has anyone else been tempted to get overwhelmed with their own discipling? There are so many things in these last two posts, and again in this one, that speak to me, as I want to disciple my kiddos well. If you feel overwhelmed at times, please hear this: Even focusing on one of these areas can improve your communication with your kids, can show them God, and can even change what your child thinks or believes. I’ve experienced it! So, close the door on that temptation and put your discipleship of Jesus in action with the kiddos…and they don’t have to be yours! Show these principles with those in your path today.

Ok. More notes from Dr. Kathy Koch’s Q & A session (her full speaking event can be found at the end of this post)…

LOOK FOR EVIDENCE THAT THEY WORSHIP WITH INTEGRITY AND TRUTH
  • Tell them when you see it! What you say matters!
  • If you value your relationship with Christ, put it on display!
  • Do they hunger for the Word? Do YOU? “Because I love God, I read His Word. Because I love God, I serve. Because I love God, I pray.” Share your love for God as the basis for what you do, not a heavy handed “Did you read your Bible today?!?”
  • Raise kids to know: 1) that they’re created in the image of God, strategically and intentionally; 2) that they’re created for His glory; and 3) that God wants them and others to find Him!
  • Teach that prayer is a relationship, an ongoing conversation with your best friend.
WE CAN’T HOLD OTHERS ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT THEY DON’T BELIEVE
  • It’s wrong and critical to hold others to a standard they don’t know (believe); they’ve been deceived.
  • Teach Truth! Expose the lie. “According to Scripture,…” Use as many verses as possible (not just ones we typically gravitate toward). Use other, real-world examples, especially if they don’t believe Scripture.
FOCUS MORE ON WHAT YOU WANT THAN WHAT YOU CURRENTLY SEE
  • As mentioned in Part 1, “Change=exchange.” So, if laziness is what you see, the opposite would be hard work, effort, diligence (effort over time), perseverance (effort in the face of difficulties), teachability, humility, teamwork, honoring your father and mother…For every one sin (negative), there are almost always multiple (sometimes 20) related positives.
  • Pray for what you want to see; talk about the positives; maybe even journal as a family about it.
  • Laziness is caught; there’s almost always someone they’ve seen who is lazy and successful.
  • Laziness is a lack of purpose. Using Ephesians 2:10 as a basis, ask, “How do you live on purpose?” “How did you live on purpose today?” “What gifts have you been created with? Are you walking in them?” You can also say, “I, as your mom, will not allow you to not steward the gift that God’s given you. I’ve seen this passion in you since you were five! Let’s re-light that or figure out how.”
  • Give them opportunities to serve to get beyond themselves. Serving someone who needs something they can offer is one of the best ways to move from a lazy apathy to an act of energy.
  • America’s school drop-out rate (pre-Covid) was 6,250/DAY! Schools aren’t doing a good job of engaging kids with meaningful content…nor are a lot of churches. Every verse of Scripture was put there on purpose, for a purpose, but if we don’t teach kids the relevancy of Scripture to them, they’ll believe that God and the Bible are irrelevant. A lack of engagement is a lack of purposeful belief that it matters. How does it matter?
STOP ASKING QUESTIONS KIDS CAN’T ANSWER
  • Rather than asking kids “What do you want to do when you grow up?” invite people over for dinner, exposing the child to different jobs…talk about what the dinner guest does, what they like about it, what their biggest struggles are in their job, etc.
  • Download with the child after dinner; ask them what they liked/didn’t like about that occupation and gauge their interest level in it.
HOMESCHOOLING
  • There’s no behind or ahead in homeschooling; there’s freedom.
  • Have fair expectations for your kids AND you, the parent.
KIDS ARE BEING RAISED BY (NOT JUST WITH) TECHNOLOGY
  • They think everything should be easy (i.e., auto correct, GPS, ordering online), so why should life be so hard?
  • Kids are addicted to the adrenaline drop (when the device dings, vibrates, etc.), not the devices themselves, per se. It does distract them, shifting their focus.
  • 5 lies technology’s taught our kids:
  1. I’m at the center of my own universe. They look at the phone, buzzing, see who it is and say, “I’m not in the mood”…I’M THE CENTER!
  2. I deserve to be happy. They play what they want only when THEY want it. This is why they’re not persevering and digging deep; they believe happiness is their right.
  3. I deserve choice (i.e., drop-down menus), and we feed the lie…literally! We don’t say no to “I want fried chicken, not grilled!” Choice is a privilege, not a right. They haven’t been taught that…or don’t believe that, so they think they can go to bed when they want.
  4. I’m my own authority. I’m in charge. They treat parents, church, and God like Amazon Prime.
  5. Because information is all I need, I don’t need teachers. Information is everywhere, but information won’t change you; we have to have not only knowledge, but wisdom (agreeing with God). Wisdom–the right application to the right situation with the right outcome, which requires Life (God)is found in God (Job 12:13-25, 28:12-24, Romans 11:33, Proverbs 1:23)–. Put down our devices, so they’ll put down theirs. Let US (God through us) be the ones to show them joy and passion. Let US be the ones to live on purpose. Let US be the ones to not keep track (it doesn’t matter how many people “liked” this post or who’s read it today; I’m obeying what God told me to do). Culture is loud…not just for what it says, but how it says it. Remember: Context and environment are important in how we communicate.
WATCH THE Q & A

Q & A–53:00 mark

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